Keddem Community Blog

There were a total of seven salons and 54 people attended. While each group was different and had its own emotional quality, many people expressed some variation on the sentiment that the salons “felt like the beginning of a new community at Keddem.”  In some of the salons a lot of excitement and energy was created as we talked about future possibilities. In other salons people openly wept as they told stories of how they had been hurt, but felt that telling the story in the small safe group was the beginning of a long delayed healing for them. Not all of the salons had time to address all of the questions.

The short summary of the discussions is:

1) We want a multigenerational synagogue

While there were many concerns about the logistics, implementation, monetary and resource costs of starting a school, the majority of the salon participants were overwhelmingly enthusiastic about creating some kind of multigenerational synagogue. There seemed to be the most enthusiasm for learning experiences that both adults and children (not just families) could share together. There was a lot of consensus that we need to find a way to do this and do it successfully, without diluting the richness of our Judaism for adults, compromising our financial security, or burning out our volunteers.

2) We want to become more of a sacred/spiritual community with more meaningful emotional experiences.

There was significant enthusiasm for a better balance of heart and soul with the intellect. Many people spoke of spiritual experiences that they had away from Keddem and they wished they could have at Keddem. There were many, many comments expressing that people wanted more spirituality, although a few people felt that they liked Keddem fine the way it was.  People also wanted a safe place for more emotional experiences, although many commented that Keddem is not yet such a safe place.

3) We want to get to know each other more deeply in small groups.

People were excited about the possibility of gathering in small affinity groups, or Jewish Journey groups.  These groups would deepen our Jewish connection to each other and to passions we have in common. Some of the ideas for such groups were: movies, theater, folk dancing, crafts, saving the planet, the spirituality of the outdoors, music, travel, wine, food, arts and sciences.

4) Many of us have been hurt and so withdrawn from participating or volunteering at because of the treatment we received or witnessed.

In response to our inquiry about people’s experience of a nastiness problem, many people told disturbing, upsetting stories of something that had happened to them or something that they had witnessed. Some people even broke down in tears as they describe their experiences. Many of the stories ended up with some version of “and that’s why I backed away from participating at Keddem” or “that’s why I don’t volunteer any more at Keddem.”  However several people also said that after their experience in the salon, they would reconsider that decision. Several people expressed hope that we would be able to change our culture to one of support, compassion, interest and gratitude for what each of us brings to the creation of Keddem.

All of us want to be part of warm and welcoming communities, and to do our part to create them.  But even bright people with good intentions can miss the mark.  That’s what t’shuvah (repentance or returning) is all about.  In many areas of our lives, including at Keddem we want to return to civility, mutual respect and self-respect.  We have often forgotten, and need to remember, to treat each other in a manner that is in harmony with the divine spirit in each of us, the spirit that leads us to become the best we each can be.  This means confronting the behaviors that threaten our intention to be a holy community.  We will focus on how to respond to each other with mutual respect, compassion, and support, when we witness a behavior which is not in line with our values. These practices will not only help Keddem stay true to its values, but will help us carry those values into all areas of our lives in the coming year.

Thank you so much everyone for your continued involvement in this process. 103 people responded to the most recent survey.  From your comments, and your high level of responses on our surveys, we can tell that people deeply and passionately care about Keddem.  Your responses provided clarity and highlighted issues for deeper and more nuanced conversation (we’ll publish a more detailed summary separately). Therefore we will be organizing several meetings in people’s homes in the last two weeks of October. A significant majority of you enthusiastically supported both of the first two options “innovative and exciting programs for adults” and “expand programs for all ages, add a school and grow”. These two options are virtually tied. On the other hand, all of the other options were soundly rejected. We will be conducting research into the attractiveness of a Reconstructionist approach to children’s religious education, parallel to the in person conversations we plan to have at the meetings. If you know of any families with children who would be willing to talk to us or answer our surveys about what they want for their children’s Jewish education, please contact me at LRP_chair@Keddem.org.